Shvatz un Veis

I was in Colorado anyway, so I thought I'd stop in and see Dallas Knepp (and family) in Canon (read: canyon) City. "Do you want to come to the banquet Saturday night?" He wondered. I thought I might. Yet, when he called me back, he had yet another question/request. "Would you like to serve at this banquet?"

Of course, I asked the first question that immediately pops into a guy's mind. (No, nothing involving . . . well, never mind.) "Will there be lots of free food?" There was. Nevertheless, I forgot to ask that very critical question. Instead of addressing important issues such as this, he let me know that we would be dressed in black and white ("shvatz un veis" for you Dutch people that don't know English). Not even the most colorblind person could say that the green and tan I had along was "close enough". So we did what all good Mennonites do, we borrowed what we could, and the rest we got at Goodwill for $3.99+tx. Even though I looked like I could have fit 2 of me in the white shirt I borrowed, I decided to wear it anyway. The black pants were bought. (I like pants?)

It turned out that approximately 80% of the servers also moonlighted as New Horizon Ministries Thrift Store workers. "Why didn't you go to OUR thrift store?" This was a typical response to my very insensitive decision to shopping at their competitor's place of business. So I responded with typical sensitivity by laughing in their faces.

Maniacly. Okay, not really. But I did point out that since they were closed at 4:00 that Saturday, I would have had to enter by means of the brick-through-the-window-approach. This I feel would have negatively affected the exterior decor, since they don't go for the "broken glass" look.

Besides, I did enough damage for the night when I tried to carry 4 empty mugs on 3 saucers and learned that it's 1 too many. But on the positive side, I didn't dump hot coffee in anyone's lap or on their cell phones (So coffee does hurt those things?). Nor did I flip my tray bearing all manner of salad plates on the floor (2 minute rule anyone?). And I didn't trip over a chair leg whilst carrying the hot food. So it could have always been much more "interesting".